


Average of Six (Remix)

by Woad



Series: Cap Ironman '16 Remixes [2]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Ultimate Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Crude Humor, Gen, M/M, Meta, Multiverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-18 20:24:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5941894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woad/pseuds/Woad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The different Steves in <i>A Fistful of Steves: This Town Ain't Big Enough</i> measure themselves up against one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Average of Six (Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [teaberryblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaberryblue/gifts).
  * Inspired by [A Fistful of Steves: This Town Ain't Big Enough](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3973720) by [Raikishi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raikishi/pseuds/Raikishi), [teaberryblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaberryblue/pseuds/teaberryblue). 
  * In response to a prompt by [teaberryblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaberryblue/pseuds/teaberryblue) in the [Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness_2016](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness_2016) collection. 



> With apologies to Tea. My sense of humor clearly never grew up.

“Seven,” says Angry Steve.

“Six,” says Married Steve.

Angry Steve smirks at Married Steve, as though this is a triumph.

Uptight Steve shifts from foot to foot, uncomfortable. “Five for me.”

Edna Rogers looks impatient with the lot of them. “Not applicable.”

“Eight,” says Old Steve, and Angry Steve seems to reassess the geriatric at that.

“Seven, maybe?” Pink Shirt Steve is clearly not sure. “I never really thought it was important.”

Cowboy Steve pats himself, “Uh, I don't know...Can I count Bucky’s—”

“No,” Angry Steve snaps. “We are not bringing your horse into this.” And he looks pointedly at the next Steve in the gathered circle.

“Twenty-one,” says Deathlok Steve.

“What?” Angry Steve’s jaw looks like it has unhinged. “That is a goddamn lie.”

“No, look,” Deathlok Steve’s hands go to his waist, undoing his belt.

Cowboy Steve frowns. “I see seven at most.”

So Deathlok Steve opens one of the pouches.

He shows them how it's divided into three compartments.

“That doesn’t count,” says Married Steve.

“To be a pouch it has to have its own flap.” Angry Steve is very adamant about this.

“So the average is probably somewhere around six,” says Pink Shirt Steve.

Married Steve looks thoughtful. “With all of the Steves here that don’t wear belts, it’s probably closer to one or two.”

Cowboy Steve raises a finger. “If you’d let me count Bucky’s saddlebags—”

Angry Steve grabs his hand and forces it back down to his side. “Okay, next question. What in God’s name do you _keep_ in all of them?”

#

Tony isn’t sure what the Steves are all talking about in their Steve huddle. But he catches a few numbers being thrown around and makes some assumptions— _good God, Old Steve_.

He supposes it isn’t that weird. Given a town full of Tonys, he’d probably do the same.

Makes him wonder about the Steve back home, though…


End file.
